DO NOT WANT: …Rattan. Just can’t do it, guys.

20 Sep

(Original Post) $325.00 to complete all you Tiki God and Goddesses’ “lounges” and “pads.” I’m sorry, I just cannot like rattan, wicker, or tiki style. It’s the basis for all things kitschy and tacky, in my opinion.

I might have extra reason to hate the “bamboo eye torture,” though. My dad was born and raised in Hawaii and loved putting knick-knacks and schlock that reminded him of “da islands” around our house. A hollowed-out musical gourd sitting next to my embarrassing childhood photos. SHUDDEERR. Of course – no disrespect to my Dad’s heritage and culture, but everyone secretly hates their parent’s decor choices, right? We even had one entire wall in our living room covered in this thin woven grass material. How can you even buy that? The whole wall! Floor to ceiling! It got water damage and the cat used the wicker wall as a scratching post – she’d disappear behind a soji screen and you’d hear her clawing at it until someone would throw a well-guided shoe or household slipper behind the screen and she’d run out of the room. Ugh, it just all brings back so many bad design memories.

Rattan makes me think of Elvis Presley. Who in my mind is – sure – The King, but the King of clutter and bad baste. During the middle of the century’s infatuation with tropical paradises and dreams of sand between their toes, they adopted this terrible idea that their home in an American suburb could echo the far off island flavor. I blame those dreams for this:


Ok, so this is better:

Good lines, nice wood – but.. still just too beachy keen for me.

3 Responses to “DO NOT WANT: …Rattan. Just can’t do it, guys.”

  1. joemountain September 20, 2010 at 1:06 am #

    Lawl. I am not opposed to rattan I mean it wouldn’t be my first choice. But sometimes when still sleek the texture looks great to me. Also I try to appreciate the palm trees in front of my house (rarely-but I think they are so useless that I end up feeling bad for them and attempt to find a reason why they are here). I think I may be a closet paradise enthusiast. ;]

  2. Angie September 21, 2010 at 4:28 am #

    Some rattan is good, I use to have a bar set from the 60’s. I’m digging that desk and chair, has some clean lines. The other stuff maybe if I was into kitch, I’m over and done with.

  3. Serene September 21, 2010 at 6:31 am #

    I really like the palm trees in Sacramento! It really encourages the idea that this place is LA’s better little brother-town. Flat, suburb-based, and.. yknow, palmy.
    Also I’m up for the challenge – sounds like somebody has seen some good looking rattan in their day, I’m open to being converted to an enthusiast..MAYBE..

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