Archive | DO NOT WANT RSS feed for this section

DO NOT WANT: …Rattan. Just can’t do it, guys.

20 Sep

(Original Post) $325.00 to complete all you Tiki God and Goddesses’ “lounges” and “pads.” I’m sorry, I just cannot like rattan, wicker, or tiki style. It’s the basis for all things kitschy and tacky, in my opinion.

I might have extra reason to hate the “bamboo eye torture,” though. My dad was born and raised in Hawaii and loved putting knick-knacks and schlock that reminded him of “da islands” around our house. A hollowed-out musical gourd sitting next to my embarrassing childhood photos. SHUDDEERR. Of course – no disrespect to my Dad’s heritage and culture, but everyone secretly hates their parent’s decor choices, right? We even had one entire wall in our living room covered in this thin woven grass material. How can you even buy that? The whole wall! Floor to ceiling! It got water damage and the cat used the wicker wall as a scratching post – she’d disappear behind a soji screen and you’d hear her clawing at it until someone would throw a well-guided shoe or household slipper behind the screen and she’d run out of the room. Ugh, it just all brings back so many bad design memories.

Rattan makes me think of Elvis Presley. Who in my mind is – sure – The King, but the King of clutter and bad baste. During the middle of the century’s infatuation with tropical paradises and dreams of sand between their toes, they adopted this terrible idea that their home in an American suburb could echo the far off island flavor. I blame those dreams for this:

YIKES!! AHH!

Ok, so this is better:

Good lines, nice wood – but.. still just too beachy keen for me.

DO NOT WANT: OH GOD THESE “LOUNGE CHAIRS!”

11 Sep

What!? These have been listed over and over and over again for well over 3 months? Are you kidding? Nobody wants to sit in a disco dentist chair in their own home? You don’t want to rent a flat-bed truck to drive to this weirdo’s house and pick up a sarcophagus/slug that you sit on? You say you don’t want to find out first hand what this thing smells like?

NO. No you don’t. Nobody does. Ever. INCOMING CAPSLOCK!

(Original Post)
HERE ARE SOME COOL JETSON STYLE CHAIRS IN VERY GOOD ORIGINAL CONDITION STAR TREK HAS NOTHING ON THESE CHAIRS FEATURE 45 DEGREE SWIVEL BASE BACK RECLINES ADJUSTABLE HEADREST WOULD MAKE A GREAT ADDITION TO YOUR RETRO DECR LIVING ROOM GAME ROOM,DEN,SUNROOM,STRAIGHT FROM THE JET AGE ERA SOLD AS IS 510-333-3650 DAYS

I love the addition of “DAYS” to the phone number. Get it! Oh hey, this guys a jokester. Because you couldn’t tell by his taste in seating. I can only imagine he is getting rid of these beauties because there’s some bad mojo attached to them. Y’know, like they’re posessed by satan. A pea-soup green satan.

Just in case you can’t imagine what it’d be like to live with this thing, here is a visual aid.

You’re welcome.

Craigslist’s DO NOT WANT.

1 Sep

A section for all those awful posts that keep reappearing on my radar listed under vintage, danish, retro, and everything else good – that are just plain uggs and “DO NOT WANT.” Usually these items are priced a bit more than I’d ever damn pay, look like they’ve been used by the family cat as a scratching and urinating post, or are just plain miscategorized. AND KEEP SHOWING UP!

UGGHHHH. THE MERRRRSMAN. (Original Post)

This thing keeps popping up under “This antique Danish modern coffee table” – okay maybe it’s Danish, but a lot of things are. Danish people for example. Yes. Those pastries, yknow the ones – those are Danish too. I don’t care if this thing was sat on by a Danish King and he took a Danish crap on it – it ain’t danish modern. BUT THAT OVERSTUFFED COUCH BEHIND IT SURE IS! A steal at $70.00 of your hard earned money.

%d bloggers like this: